Dating Stories

A Dating Story

I haven't been on a date in a while. I guess it's hard to meet people when you're in your apartment like 6 days a week or whatever. But I'll tell ya a story that happened like a year or so ago.  I was a friend's birthday party and there was this girl there that I liked. She seemed nice and had nice boobs. Somehow I ended up talking to her and I got her phone number. This was pretty major for me because it's rare that I meet someone when I'm out. Let alone get a phone number. 

When I got home and went into the whole Swingers thing thinking, 'Ok according to that movie I should wait like three days before calling. But three days seemed like alot. And I'm definitely not cool enough to not call for 6 days. I thought about calling the next day but declaring I understood that I was calling before the 'cool' time -but saying I just wanted to talk to her. And maybe she'd be flattered and still think I'm cool cause I'm acknowledging the uncoolity. But then I thought maybe that was obvious. Maybe guys who call the next day say that alot and then I'll be one of those cliche next day guys who think they're being above cool by calling the next day- but in reality I'm right with all the guys that call the next day.

I decided to call her after two days and I asked her out to dinner. At the time, I lived in Manhattan and she lived in Brooklyn. She asked if I was up for treking out to Brooklyn. That was fine with me. She picked the restaurant and gave me the address and we planned to meet at 8:00. Knowing that I get lost alot and don't understand the subway I left like an hour ahead of time to go from Manhattan to Brooklyn.  Of course I got lost somewhere along the way and remember being psyched when I finally saw the sign for the restaurant. I headed in and sat down at the bar at like 7:50. There were probably like 10 seats at the bar and 5 people sitting there. Small place. She wasn't there yet. I ordered a drink. Then it's 8:10. Ok she's late. 8:20... She's really late. 8:22. I finished the bowl of bar mix and ordered another drink. I didn't bring her phone number or know her last name so I couldn't call. At 8:30... I'm like. I can't believe it. I'm being like "stood up"?  I just spoke to her like 2 hours before. She's doing the stood up move two hours later? At 8:40 I leave. Mad. And sad.

I get home and immediately call her. She answers. And I asked her where she was (sort of angry like). She asked me where I was. I was like AT THE RESTAURANT! She told me she was at the restaurant. I told her I was at the bar waiting. She told me she was at the bar waiting. I knew she had to be lying then. There was only 10 seats at the bar. I was like, You were not there! I was there from 8:00 to 8:40. She told me she was there. I asked her to confirm the restaurant name and street. She did. I was there! Now I felt like I was dealing with a psycho. This place was just not that big. And I got mad at her. And told her the place wasn't that big! She was like, 'wait... was the place really small?' I was like, Yeah tiny! She was like, 'You were in the restaurant next door.' Apparently I saw the sign overhead sticking off the building and just straight out walked into the wrong place. And she was next door.

I tried to spin it into a big laugh moment. Like isn't that funny? But she didn't think it was funny. She wasn't laughing at all. Not because of the mixup. But because of the way I acted. That I pretty much accused her of being a liar. That my first question wasn't 'what happened? are you ok?' That I was a dummy. Or something. She told me she was going out and to call her later in the week to reschedule. So a couple days later I left a message on her machine. She didn't called back. And then I went into the... at what point do you call for the second time? Do you call the second time? Is that being aggressive? And pursue-y? ...Or is that psycho? I waited a week and called her once more. No call back. I guess I was labeled an inconsiderate psycho dummy who can't even find a frickin restaurant on the first date. And that was that. T'was a shame. Cause them boobs were dynamite.

ok bye!